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A personal essay to the University of Pennsylvania once read how a student was electrically shocked in chemistry class. He thought it would
sound witty- it sounded more like psychosis.Golden Rule One- You can sound witty, but keep it reasonable. Taking a lighthearted approach to your writing doesn't mean you should tell a story about a
wild and crazy experience. The admissions committee might doubt that you are a serious college candidate. A well-written essay can turn the average student into an exceptional student. That's why when applying
to Law School I put particular emphasis on mastering the essay. I had a specific vision about the perfect essay: The admissions officer would pick up my application and his/her eyes would be glued from the
opening sentence. By the closing lines the admissions officer would have tears welling up because the story had been so touching. Although having another individual so moved emotionally that they break down into
tears may appear a bit unrealistic, it is a goal every applicant should shoot for. Golden Rule Two- Don't attempt to write like an intellectual. That means stay away from the thesaurus…don't mess around with
words that you aren't comfortable using. The best writing style is simple and to the point. Check out these two sentences with similar meanings, but contrasting writing styles: Missed The Mark
: The conjectural anecdote resulted in a most calamitous insurrection directed at my nostrils. To The Point: The hypothetical remark got me a punch in the nose.
In an attempt to sound like a 19th century English professor, the author of sentence one actually sounds like your common prison inmate. Your essay should sound like a real human voice. Writing
simple doesn't make you sound stupid, it makes you easily understood. You should vary sentence length, mix in a few questions, exclamations, and so forth. Here's an example of a varied paragraph:
He jumped off the table and landed right on the floor! It was the first time froggy had ever violated my explicit orders. Everyone witnessing the incident laughed as I felt the blood rushing to my
cheeks from embarrassment. They doubted my training had produced anything but a typical amphibian. Why wouldn't froggy listen?
Notice how sentence length and sentence structure are both varied. The paragraph is easy to read, and it's also fine to use an occasional contraction if it
helps the flow of your writing. You might have heard this one before- "Don't try to sound like someone you're not." This statement runs counter to common sense. At different times, we're
all creative, intelligent, sympathetic, or original. Therefore, you have the freedom to present yourself in any way you wish. An admissions committee doesn't know what you're really like- it's up to you to show
them. Top Secret Tip- Many teacher recommendation forms are set up in a grid format that looks something like this:
Student Characteristics |
Truly exceptional |
Top 10% of class |
Top half of class |
bottom half of class |
Motivation |
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Originality |
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Leadership |
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Creativity |
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Intelligence |
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The categories on the left column are a good indicator of what characteristics that school holds most important. Keeping this
in mind, why not write an essay that displays your mastery of these areas? Try presenting yourself as creative, original,
intelligent, and motivated. Understandably, it is a difficult task to fit all those characteristics into one essay. It may be a good
idea to focus on one or two of those attributes instead of the whole list. Careful though, don't start off your essay like this:
The reason why I am a qualified candidate for your school is because I'm intelligent, original, creative… That sort of essay TELLS the reader what you're like.
The goal of an essay is to SHOW the reader who you are. You show readers by not blatantly saying you're creative or original, but by telling a story that implies these characteristics. If you
want to show someone how creative you are, tell a story about how you designed a program for local youths or how you wrote an innovative computer program. -Essay topics to steer away from-
1. How difficult my life is because of my race or sex (they'll see from your application your sex or racial background, no need to beat a dead horse).
2. How my life has changed because of physical or emotional abuse or anything so sobering it leaves the reader disturbed, not impressed. 3. Any stories of reckless abandon.
4. "Ever since I was 6 I knew I wanted to go to your school…" -Essay topics that can help you get in-
1. Light-hearted anecdotes that clue the admissions officer into your true personality. Careful, don't try to sound
too witty if you're normally a serious person. This was always my favorite essay style because light-hearted stories can also have deep meanings
. The law school essay I include was about how I worked with some old folks over the summer. I started it out as a comical look at the institution, with bizarre things going on. But by the
end of the essay my tone had sobered and my closing line went something like this…"Life is more than a series of breaths." I kept it lighthearted, but there was a message waiting at the end.
2. How you learned from failure. Humans like other humans who are modest and not arrogant. Admitting that you are
not perfect can be the perfect strategy (especially recommended for Ivy-league candidates. Ivy-leaguers typically write
about their incredible accomplishments, so by writing about a failure, you'll break the mold.)
3. Use your imagination…the best essay I have ever read came from an individual who wrote about his walk home
from class. As he strolled along he imagined magical flames emanating from his hands. It kept my eyes glued to his
essay because of its original and interesting story. Careful though- be original, but don't sound psychotic or mentally unstable. Remember you're supposed to be getting into college, not a psycho ward. 4. If you've done something you're particularly proud of that's not included or stressed enough in your application
elsewhere, why not let the admissions committee know about it? (Remember, my own essay was about how I designed a unique program). If it was important to you, then it's worth writing about.
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