by Aaron Mesh
Describe an intellectual experience that has engaged or challenged you.
It was Socrates who declared that to understand the mysteries of the Universe, a man must first know himself. When I consider the
intellectual events that have most affected me, I find most striking those that have let me understand myself more deeply. When I first read the topic requested for this essay, I began thinking back upon the many recent
intellectual challenges that have involved me.
A few experiences stood out. There was the philosophy and worldview retreat I attended in November that helped me understand the thought-forms of my culture. There was
my literature tutorship, which has taught me not only about great books, but also about Western culture, philosophy and, most importantly, solid reasoning. There were the discussions I've had with friends that have
influenced my thinking and honed my rhetorical skills.
But in recent months, there has been one experience that, perhaps more than any other, has allowed me to better understand myself. And that experience,
ironically enough, has been writing college application essays. I am, at this time, applying to six colleges. Perhaps I have chosen so many because they each have an aspect that entices me; perhaps it is because I lack
decision-making skills. But whatever the reason, I have found myself spending a great deal of this fall and winter on the word processor, composing essays. The questions I have tackled have ranged from the profound to
the inane, but all have required a good deal of time to answer properly.
Such a task, while weighty, may not seem like the most significant mental assignment. But as I began responding to the questions placed before
me, an interesting thing occurred. Instead of just telling others about who I was, what I believed and where I wanted to go, I began myself discovering new aspects of my constitution, and better understanding my own
conclusions about life. In other words, I began to better know myself.
Such self-discovery began at shallow levels, with simple questions. One of my first college-application tasks was to merely list my hobbies. The
funny thing was, I had not considered my hobbies in a long while. I live a life that includes many interests - from 4-H to folk music, from parties to politics - but I was so caught up in the flow of this "real
life" that I hadn't taken time to seriously think about what these pastimes were, and what kind of person those pursuits made me. Just writing down hobbies was helping me, in small ways, to define myself.
Soon,
deeper questions brought deeper introspection. One school asked me to talk about my dreams for the future. Long having desired a career as a responsible and excelling journalist, I found myself elucidating my hope like
this: "My goal, at least at this point of my life, is to become an educated, well-rounded journalist - one with a strong grasp of history, philosophy and literature... I want to become an editor or reporter who can
report fairly and objectively, while still standing for absolute morals and truth - without succumbing to dogma and rhetoric."
As I placed these goals on paper, my ideas changed from nebulous thoughts to clear,
certain statements. Facts about myself that I had generally understood now seemed more certain, and more achievable. Other questions brought forth further personal comprehensions. When a school asked my opinion on the
nature of politicians, I was able to clearly state my beliefs on the innate depravity of man in a way that made ME understand it better. When a scholarship application wanted to know about my service work, my
description let me better understand how my efforts had made a difference. Each question brought more discoveries.
Even as I sit here now, I am realizing something new about myself. Until writing this piece, I had
never realized how important writing essays has been to developing an honest conception of myself. I now find, looking back, that writing these essays has served multiple purposes, and that my original reason for taking
on the task - acceptance into schools - may not have been the most important. Even if the schools for which I wrote these pieces do not select me, the time I've spent has been tremendously worthwhile. For I have
uncovered and polished hidden truths about myself, and those discoveries will last long after my college experience is complete.
